Good Bye Poppa

Today my Father passed away. That seems like such a straight forward simple sentence. Short and to the point. But it is really anything but....


After 14 years of heart problems and 4 years of hospice care, my Poppa is finally at peace. It has been the most frustrating, maddening, touching, sad and enlightening journey of my life. I truly thought that when it finally happened that I would be relived. I thought I was ready for him to go. He has been sick and unhappy for so long I really did think I would be okay and that would be that.


What a fool I am. All the frustration and anger and annoyance I had at him for being so stubborn and pig headed and uncooperative and demanding seems to have just disappeared and I can't believe I was so annoyed and impatient with him.


For the last few years he would go through phases when he demanded that I tell him when he was going to die.....the more Independence he lost the more he wanted to know. Not really knowing what to say I would always tell him that when he was ready, he would just go to sleep and wake up and be in heaven. And that is exactly what he did.


The last few days were tough, he couldn't get out of his recliner anymore with out assistance. But he didn't want anyone hanging out to be able to help him when he needed. He was positive he could do everything himself.


I think Saturday was the day he realized that it was time. He seemed to just let go. He slept for most of Saturday and all day Sunday. I was there a few times on Sunday and decided to check on him before I went to bed. After being there for just a few minutes he seems to be more awake and aware than he had been in the last two days. He actually sat up and wanted his back rubbed and for me to hold his hand. He kept saying that he loved me and thank you. In hindsight he was telling me goodbye. I just didn't realize it. He liked it when I sat next to him and held his hand......I wish I would have realized that he was telling me goodbye.


I know he is at peace now. And has no more pain and can walk and run and chase the ladies.... I know he is hanging out with Gus and Spider and Red and all the dogs he had over the years and I a sure that Grandpa Joe was there to greet him along with my Mom and many other family members....My mind knows this, but my heart misses him much more than I expected.


One of the saddest things is such a silly thing, but now there is no one to call me "Sissy". When my brother was little he couldn't say "Teresa" and he called me Sissy. Well Poppa never stopped calling me Sissy. I will miss that.


Since this post is really more for me, I wanted to post some of my favorite photos of Poppa.That's me in the stroller and Poppa and my Gramma at Knots Berry Farm. Notice the cool shades Poppa is wearing, it seems to be a theme with him.



Even though Poppa was 20 years older than my Mom, he never looked it. Here we are in our living room in Whittier and he had to be in his mid 40's and doesn't look to be much more than 30.

Here we are again and I am only about 2 in this photo, so he was 46! Lucky me! I got to inherit those youthful genes!


This is my favorite photo from our wedding. He looks like a member of the Rat Pack and he was 78! I think this pic shows him exactly how he was....confident, self assured, a take no crap from anyone kinda guy.

Same day, but a more serious photo. He was so happy to see me marry Michael. He really loved him and though he was a genius! He used to tell me how lucky I was to find Michael and that I should be grateful and be very good to him! and he was right!


This was a long and arduous journey that we have been on, Sometimes I hated it, sometimes I loved it and sometimes I wondered if I was being punished for something. But I realized today that instead of remembering all the bad stuff, that I should be grateful that we went on this journey.


I learned that the past matters, but if you let go of the bad stuff from the past, your life is much more peaceful. I learned that just because people don't treat you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you. They just do the best that they can.


I know that you loved me, but today people told me some of the nice things you said about me, things I wish you would have said to me, but maybe you couldn't. I also found the poem that you left in your wallet for me...... that meant more than you know.


But most of all I learned that you need to be good to those that you love and to mend those fences that are broken, even if you think it is no longer possible. Because all the petty shit that happened years and years ago doesn't matter, all that matters is the love.....and the now.... Thank you for teaching me that.


Well.....not much left to say but I love you very much Poppa and make sure you give my Mom a hug for me and try to stay out of trouble!


I miss you already,



Sissy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OPA!

I know it is one day late, but better late than never, although we did have a pretty awesome dinner at Bel Tramonto last night!

Michael turned 45 yesterday! WOW! It is hard to believe that we are pushing 50, or at least my Hunny Bunny is. Here are some photos to show how gracefully he is aging. And how I have turned him into a Hippie! I talked Michael into growing his hair long and it keeps growing and growing!

Look, Dear, when I first met you, you had almost no gray in your hair or beard, but I think you knew something was up, I can tell by the look on your face.

Thank goodness you got happy when you let your hair start to grow! You are so cute in this pic. It is one of my favorites.

See, Hair is longer......and you get sexier! and you look pretty happy too!


This was last year.... You still make my heart go pitter patter and I am still glad!


I love you!

Invasion of the Dish Rags

I have mentioned before how much I love the Mason-Dixon knitting book and blog and here is the proof! I am trying to reduce my stash.....ha ha ha. Or at least use some of it while I await a fresh influx of money to spend on more yarn! I have one whole large clear plastic container of cotton yarn! The color are soooo pretty! So I spent my 3 day weekend sorting my stash and knitting. I did get a couple of object finished, but these are the only pics I remembered to take this morning!

Dish Rag (cloth) No. 1 - note that there is not much contrast, yet it is still interesting and smushy! These are incredibly thick and smushy! I think they would be even better in the bathroom than in the Kitchen!
Dish Cloth, they are too good be be called rags! No. 2 - I started out with the pink and yellow and orange, but there just wasn't' enough contrast! So I switched to the blue yellow combo and I really like it. It is going to be tough to give these away a s gifts! I just want to hoard them all to my self!Then I got really brave! This cloth starts from the outside and you do bobbles! I was a bobble virgin, but no more! Once you get past the bobbles and and the dreaded yarn overs, and the first couple of rows, it is a breeze and it is really even prettier in person. In the book they have threaded ribbon through the yarn overs and they wrap up a bar of soap and tie it with the ribbon! What a great idea! but again....I have to actually be able to part with the wash cloths and the handmade soap!

I am getting ready to have my own Real Estate website. www.homesforsaleinklamathfalls.com, my TeresaMetts.com will also point there. So...I may be a little slow on keeping up my blog, but I am doing much better! I am only going days with out updating, not months!

I also hope to soon have stuff up on my Etsy site....now if I could just find a few more hours in the day....

Drum Roll Please!

Well, with the help of my wonderful Hubby, I have photos of 2 finished objects! First we have the Psychedelic crocheted Ripple Afgan. I found this when we were cleaning out the shed. It was only about 1/4 of the way done, and the ....gasp.... acrylic yarn is all gone, but if you turn it sideways, it will make a great Kid's blanket. (since Lilee can't read yet, I guess it is safe to mention that it will be a gift for her!)

The first photo may make you dizzy..... so I asked the hubby to take another one! He is such a good sport, even if he did lay my pretty pretty blanket on his yucky bug laden truck!

My Second finished object is this Log Cabin Blanket, inspired by the wonderful Mason Dixon Knitting book. Their Blog is one of my "everyday" reads!

The difference in color in the two photos is amazing! The true color are somewhere inbetween, but leaning more toward the second photo!

I guess I am not selling enough Real Estate to satisfy Michael, because he has so kindly placed one of my sign riders in the second photo! So, if you need to buy a house, or land, now you know where to find me!


It wasn't quite wide enough and I didn't want to do more squares, so I did 3 rows of garter stitch on each side of the squares and then 5 rows of various colors from the blanket and the 3 more row of black. Then I just picked random colors and did mitered squares in the corners! Seeing it laid out like this, makes it look much prettier than I thought it was this morning!

I also have some dishcloths and other various small items almost done and I will share these soon!

Good Intentions

I really do have good intentions! I was planning to update this blog every day and I am failing miserably. I do have a pretty good excuse. My Dad is under hopsice care, he has been for 3 years and they are great! But it is time for him to have more help, and we are in the process of moving him into an adult fostercare. It is a very nice one, very homey and he will have his own room and a livingroom with a big screen tv and they have a big deck for him to sit in the sun on. I think he will be very happy there. He will be close to us and I will not have to worry about him being alone so much.

The process is taking a lot of time and stress, so that is my excuse for not updating my etsy page and my blog. But I am knitting and will take some photos this week to share!

So my good inentions are still intact and are here to stay.

Ravelry Rocks!

I have been busy getting my Ravelry page started! I really didn't realize how big my sock yarn stash is! This was only one small container! But it has been fun and it is giving me some incentive to get my stash together.



On a different note, Today is/would be my Moms 67th birthday. She has been gone for 9 years and it is hard to believe that it has been that long. She was a great Mom who worked hard to take care of us and loved us a lot. We had finally come to that point in our relationship where we were "friends" and not just Mother and Daughter. She was a great grandma to my son Josh and my niece Tori. It makes me sad that she never got to meet her Great Granddaughter Lilee. But I know that she is watching over us and still taking care of us....so Happy Birthday Mom! I love you and miss you so!

I am still working on photos and sorting for ravelry and for Etsy. I hope to have some of my handspun and rovings up there soon!